Now More Than Ever
by missbluebutterfly
Summary: An alternative to the 2x13 ending. Angst filled. Will be M after chapter one. First Castle fiction. Not entirely happy with the first chapter but thought it was necessary to set up my idea for chapter two. Please be honest but kind with your feedback. Only the second fic I have ever written. Let me know if you want me to continue!


She ran into the break room, hands covered in blood. Tears streaming from her eyes, she couldn't believe that she had just shot the only person she had ever known who was connected to her mother's murder. It wasn't a thought out process; she had no choice when he had raised the gun to Castle. There was no choice. There was only Castle. She couldn't lose another person that she cared about.

She cleaned the blood off of her hands scrubbing like it was acid stinging her skin. She had to bite her tongue to stop from screaming at the pain. The pain of her skin being violently scrubbed, but more so the pain of questions still left unanswered.

She wasn't sure how she was going to continue on. She could feel herself sliding back down that rabbit hole. That's when she felt it. He had walked up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, she wanted to stop, pretend that everything was alright. Be the strong brave detective that he based his books on, but she couldn't. It hurt too much. Slowly he began to run his hands down her arms holding them under the tap to get rid of the last of the suds and then weaved his fingers between hers. Placing their interlaced hands on the bench.

"I'm so sorry Kate. This will be my last case, I can't put you in that situation again." He whispered into her ear. She could hear the emotions playing over his vocal cords. Guilt. Sadness. Concern. Love.

"Don't." She whispered back, staring down into the sink. "Don't leave me." She wasn't ready to look at him, but she needed him. More than she had ever needed anyone. She pulled their fingers tighter together and then raised their arms off of the bench and wrapped them around her. When she felt his arms securely lock in place around her a new wave of tears came crashing down and she felt her knees weak beneath her.

She wasn't sure how long she had stayed there in his arms sobbing, seconds, minutes – maybe even hours. He stood strong, holding her so she didn't completely collapse. It wasn't until Esposito came into the room to check on her and Castle had yelled at him to get out that she was shaken from her thoughts. She tried to loosen the hold but then she realised that it wasn't her holding them tightly together any more. It was him.

It wasn't until she stopped fighting him (and herself), and relaxed in to his arms. Her cheek falling into place next to his that she realise he too was crying. That it wasn't her shaking from the tears but him.

"Oh, Castle." she whispered as she managed to pull her hand free and let it come to rest against his opposite cheek. Wiping away the tears that had fallen. "It's ok. It's ok. It's ok." Was all she could manage, over and over again. All he could do in response was to grip her tighter, turning his head so it rest in the nook of her neck. Her ribs felt like they were going to crack under the pressure but she had never felt safer in her life.

She wanted to stay like this forever. His arms wrapped around her. Her hand tracing the side of his face willing away the tears that he had been shedding. Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt him move. Very delicately his lips began to kiss her neck. It was so light that she wasn't sure if he really was kissing her or it was just his imagination. Either way her body was reacting accordingly. Her knees weak beneath her. This time for the right reasons. Not out of pain, but out of desire.

Tentatively his kisses moved up her neck until he was kissing her ear. His tongue mapping out the shape and then slowly exploring every divot and raise that her ear had. She couldn't help it any more, the whole world had faded away, nothing else mattered. They were here and they were together. That's all that mattered. She let her body take over, all thoughts leaving her body and she moaned into his ear.

When he heard her approval his lips became more forceful. His hips pushed hers into the break room bench in front of them. His very obvious arousal pressed into her backside and she couldn't help but rock her hips back into his, the pressure making him moan.

It wasn't enough. And she needed more NOW.


End file.
